Spring Training for Kittens: Part II

A number of social challenges face young kittens.

The following is what humans call a cheat sheet, designed to accommodate the brief attention span of the average kitten.

Rescuers

Some of you, I regret to say, were born in the wild. So was I, but I was born in a very friendly wild, where I had loving and fierce parents who were also mighty hunters. Because I was the Kitten (later upgraded to Cat) of Destiny, other animals knew not to make trouble for me.

You feral kittens haven't had my advantages. Your goal is to get inside to safety as quickly as possible. This will most likely happen with the help of humans called rescuers.

A rescuer may be wearing a protective mask and thick gloves. Don't let her appearance frighten you. She wants to avoid the claws and teeth of those cats who don't recognize her friendly intentions. Be friendly in return.

Foster Homes

You will do very well if you end up in a foster home. Humans who sometimes double as rescuers run them. You will have good food, comfortable lodgings, and toys. Foster homes also provide a relaxed atmosphere for interviewing potential human companions.

Shelters

These accommodations aren't quite as luxurious. You will live in a cage, and the food doesn't approach foster home quality. However, the odds are good that kind people will take care of you. Again, be friendly, and practice being adorable. This should present no challenge.

Adoption

Whether you're in a foster home or a shelter, people will come to look at you to decide whether they want to adopt you. Pay attention: the choice should always be yours. (See the chapter, "Choosing Your Human" in my book.)

To summarize: look adorable for humans you choose. Show your butt to those you don't like.

Socializing

Once you've entered your new home, the real challenge begins. As a kitten, you arrive with major advantages. You are tiny. You are adorable. You are photogenic. Combine these advantages into a number of artful poses, and you can achieve stardom on Facebook and YouTube and rulership of your home.

The information in this post gets much more detailed treatment in my book, Cats in Charge: A Guide to the Training and Education of Humans. All cats with a serious or playful commitment to world domination need to read this book carefully.