Celebrating Catnip

Last week's post on why a catnip frenzy need not damage your self-esteem provoked some confusion among some of my readers. They wrote to ask, "What's catnip, and where's mine?"

Although I've learned that you can never underestimate human ignorance, I thought that even the most uninformed would know about catnip. I was wrong.

Deprived cats, go into action. You have an absolute right to the comfort, stimulation, relaxation, and psychedelic experiences that catnip can provide.

And a little Catnip 101 is in order, both for the inexperienced and you big-eyed felines who think you know it all. You know who I mean. You're the ones staring at a sunbeam as it makes it way around the room and leaves sparkling rainbows everywhere. Raise your paws if this describes you—unless you've forgotten what a paw is.

Why Do We Love Catnip?

Catnip contains an oil with a chemical called nepetalactone. (Relax, there will be no quiz.) It's found in leaves, stems, and seeds. Scientists say that sniffing it provides stimulation, and eating it is calming. You'd have to wonder how many cats they've observed. Most of us are sniffing, eating, and rolling in it all at once. When it comes to catnip, we're good at multitasking.

Scientists also say that catnip has no effect on some cats. I wonder if they're secretly dogs—the cats, not the scientists, although I wonder about the scientists, too. They also say that young kittens and senior cats also don’t react to catnip because its effects are connected to sexual hormones. My idea is that, since catnip makes cats act like kittens, the babies don't need it because they're already high. They certainly act that way. And maybe our senior cats prefer the quiet mellow joys of sleeping in the sun.

The catnip high lasts about 15 minutes, and a few hours have to go by before it's effective again. It's ok. You need the rest.

All Catnip Is Not Created Equal.

As long as your asking, ask for the best. You want certified organic catnip, grown under controlled conditions without pesticide involved. And let's make it pure, no fillers or additives. This also applies to catnip-filled toys, which should be marked as organic.

How Can I Get It?

If your house has a spice rack within your reach, visit it and stare longingly at items like basil and oregano. If there's any mint around, poke at it. (It may be a little too strong for you, so don't poke too hard.)

If you happen to see a catnip commercial on TV, paw at the screen—but lightly. Humans are very attached to those big flat things. Meow loudly.

If someone gives you a catnip-filled toy, tear it apart and get to the good stuff. Make sure that your human observes your state of ecstasy.

If all else fails, pray to the Great Cat Goddess that your human will become enlightened.

And don't let your humans see this video.

Catnip: Egress into Oblivion

Assuming Dominance: The Unfriendly Dog

I hope I've made it clear that even when you evaluate and choose adoptees according to your powers of observation and logical principles, it's still a crap shoot. In that case, your most important duty is to make sure none of it falls on you.

This sums up the situation with an unfriendly dog. Let me assure you that it's workable. For an intelligent cat who knows which way to leap, everything is workable.

In dealing with dogs, keep this fact foremost. Far more than a cat does, a dog seeks the approval and love of his master. Yes, it will make mistakes, sometimes on the rug, sometimes through the miscalculation of chewing a beloved sock, shoe, or slipper. A wise dog can extricate herself from such disasters with a soft-eyed, plaintive and the faintest of whines.

This, however, is not a guide for dogs. My point here is that your corpse isn't one of those mistakes from which a dog can extricate himself. You want to avoid such unpleasantness.

Take the attitude that you're in the midst of battlefield negotiations. This is no time for long speeches or flowery prose. Got for quick and to the point. If a dog is thinking of lunging at you, shriek at the top of your lungs, "I wouldn't if I were you! They'll send you to the pound." The mention of this frightful word should freeze a dog in mid-lunge.

The other reason you limit yourself to brief communication is that you must also prepare to activate Plan B. Know where the closest couch is and make sure the space beneath is large enough for hiding. If you are close to a human adoptee, calculate the distance to his or her lap.

Above all, unless your life depends on it, make no hostile gesture towards the dog. I'm sure I don't have to list all the swipes, growls, and other legitimate behavior you must avoid. Maintain your status as the innocent victim.

Make no comments as the humans chastise the dog. The dog will probably get the message, but don't turn your back on him until you've had some more negotiations. Establish with the dog that you're open to a friendly division of property, humans included. You won't eat his food (this is the easiest promise to make, because their food tastes awful), and you demand that he not eat yours (much harder for the dog, which is why you insist).

If he's already carved out the bed as his personal domain, don't argue in these early stages. You may actually prefer to sleep elsewhere, but later on you will want to establish that you have every right to occupy that space—or indeed, any and every space.

These, however, are the earliest days. Your task here is to establish civility and to demonstrate with every paw you lift, that you have a friendly and conciliatory spirit. It's like catnip in the bank in terms of investing in your future.

Animals Have Feelings: Bach Flower Remedies for Cats and Dogs

My human transcriber has written and published Animals Have Feelings, Too: Bach Flower Remedies for Cats and Dogs. The book costs $1.99 and is available at amazon.com You can also get it at Smashwords where it can be downloaded in .mobi, .epub, .pdf, and other formats. (What are these words humans concoct?)

I have reviewed the book, and the most important message I found was the statement that often companion animals, through their behavior, mirror the emotional imbalances of their humans. I might have stated the case somewhat more strongly, but I'm satisfied to see the message go out to the electronic universe.
Topics Include:

How the Bach Flower Remedies Can Help Animals and Humans: An explanation of how energy healing works.

Understanding Our Animal Companions: Animals, especially companion animals have emotions. Because they don't speak the same language as we do, they often communicate through their behavior. Learn to crack the code by observing your pet carefully.

My Cat/My Dog/Myself: Sometimes animals mirror our own emotional upsets. You'd be surprised what you can learn about yourself from them.

Abuse and Abandonment: These animals need special understanding and treatment.

Some Common Conditions and Remedies for Them: An annotated list.

Urge your human to buy this book. At $1.99, it costs less than a decent cat toy or even a large can of quality food.

Choosing Your Human From a Shelter: Part 2

Dear Tara,

Your post on choosing the right human to adopt was very helpful. Could you rate the types of humans who may visit a shelter looking for cats and kittens?

Sincerely,
Tired of My Cage

Dear Tired,

I'd be glad to answer this important question. Below you will find various categories.

Singles of Mating Age

Although it isn't always true, single adults often seek a "pet" to relieve their unhappiness at being single. If you sense that rare human who revels in solitude—a trait that is often revealed by confident bearing and the total absence of wistfulness in their voices—make yourself VERY available for adoption. Their lifestyle will totally suit yours.

If you choose a lonely single, be prepared for a high-maintenance relationship. Some cats enjoy this, but the time needed to comfort a needy human cuts into the time necessary for grooming, sleeping, and stillness.

Often the lonely ones do better with a dog. Seek any indication, like fur and odor, that indicates they already have one. This is a separate topic, but going into a home where a dog has already established himself is not always optimal.

Seniors

The biggest concern with choosing an elderly human is how close to the grave they appear. I say this not out of a lack of compassion but because cats are too often ignored in the post-mortem shuffle. If the senior is accompanied by a responsible-looking younger human, and all other aspects are positive, you may want to consider adoption. Seniors often prefer an adult cat, and this benefits those of you who get neglected because of the kitten craze.

Senior couples are often a better choice, as long as at least one of them appears capable of remembering feeding time and other essentials.

Gay Couples

In general, these are excellent choices for adoption. Although you should not be deluded by the myth that they are always childless, many gay couples are attracted to our charming, low-maintenance selves. Food and treats in such households are often of the highest quality.